My Computer

Pappu rings a call centre:
My internet is not working properly

Officer:
Ok
Double click on "My computer"

Pappu:
I can't see your computer

Officer:
No no
click on "My computer" on your computer

Pappu:
How can I click on your computer from my computer?

Officer:
listen
There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer
Ok
double click on it

Pappu:
what the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?

Officer:
Double click on the icon "My computer" from your Desktop Sir

Pappu:
On which Icon i've to click

Officer:
"My Computer"

Pappu:
Oh you STUPID IDIOT
Tell me where is your office. I'll come there and click on your "Computer."

Belt

Test

Normality Check
.
.
You Are A Normal Person In Case of.........
.
1- U Got A Facebook Account
.
2- U Got A Mobile Phone
.
4- U Are Wasting Ur Time Reading This
.
5- U Didn't Notice That ThereIs No No. (3)
.
7- U Went To Check If No. 3 Is There
.
8- Where Is No. 6 ?
.
9- U Are Now Smiling
.
10- Where Is No. (1)
.
11- LOL you Went To Check No. 1
.
.
Do you really think you are normal ????

Relationship

Relatives : What U Want To
Become
When U Grow Up ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me : I Want To Become A Relative
Who Do Not Ask This Kind Of Stupid
Questions..

All Cards Accepted

Waiter: Your Bill Sir !

Santa : Take My Card...
.
.
.
.
.. .
.
. Waiter : But Sir, This is your marriage card ! 
Santa : Then is it simply written
"ALL CARDS ACCEPTED”

Students

Students

Moon

One day a teacher was talking about marriage in class...

Teacher : What kind of wife would you like Johnny?

Johnny : I would want a wife like the moon...

Teacher : Wow !! what a choice...do you want her to be cool & calm like the moon?

Johnny : No, no...

Teacher: oh so u want her to be round and white? 🌕

Johny: No, no...

Teacher: Oh, so u want her to be fair and beautiful like d moon? 🌝

Johny: No, no...I want her to arrive at night and disappear in the morning;)

Marriage

Girl: If we get married, you must stop smoking.
Boy: Ok.

Girl: Drinking too.
Boy: Ok.

Girl: Going to night clubs too.
Boy: Ok.

Girl: and watching Cricket with your friends too.
Boy: Ok. !!

Girl: What else can you leave?
Boy: The idea of marrying you.

Love

Shopping

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much? I only bought 5 items."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."

Addition

TEACHER: If I give you 2cats and another 2cats and another 2 cats, how many cats will you have?

Student: Seven, Sir.

TEACHER: No, listen carefully. If give you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many will you have?

Student: Seven.

TEACHER: Let me put it to you differently. If I give you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2 apples, how many will you have?

Student: Six.

TEACHER: Good. Now if I give you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2 cats, how many cats you will have?

Student: Seven!!!

Angry TEACHER: Where did you get Your seven from?

Student: (Angrily!) Because I already get 1 cat for House!

Break Up Advice

Boy : My Girlfriend broke up with me and
sent me pics of her with her new
boyfriend .
Friend : Really Bad , What did you do ?
Boy : I sent those pics to her Dad.......

Rain

Tea

There was a family with one kid. 

One day the mother was out and dad was in charge of the 3-year old kid.

Someone had given the kid a little 'tea set' as a birthday gift and it was one of his favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when kid brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for from father for such yummy tea, kid’s Mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch the kid bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing !!

Mom waited, and sure enough, the kid comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him,

'Did it ever come to your mind that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet ??

Teach

KISS

At a dinner party, husband was about to deliver speech as Guest Speaker, his wife, who was sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.

A guest seated next to me said, "It looks like your wife has sent you a kiss for good luck. She must love you very much•."

He clarified , "You don't know my wife. The letters stand for 
"Keep it short, stupid.•"

Lazy

Boy: Mom plz giv me a glass of Water....

Mom: U come & drink....

Boy: Plz...

Mom: If u repeat, i'll slap u....

Boy: Wen u'll come 2 Slap, bring water...!!

Make a wish

How to save your life